Right now I am allowing myself to be curious. We are still in a pandemic. We are still grappling with inherited trauma, systemic oppression, and an epistemic crisis. I’ve realized, though I continue to forget, that I am completely dysregulated. We all are.
So, my practices right now are fluid and flexible. I can’t tell you what I will need tomorrow morning when I wake up. The best I can do is to listen to my body. I can close my eyes, relax my shoulders, unhinge my jaw and notice my energy.
It may be that my energy is chaotic, lethargic, or defensive. Whatever it is, I will listen and make a plan for the day. The important piece to this is to deeply listen and then honor. If I am lethargic, the last thing I will want to do is move, but move I shall. And then maybe call a friend to meet. If I am defensive, then even though I may be primed for a debate, I will set aside time to be quiet and breathe. If I feel chaotic, instead of multi-tasking and distracting myself, I will walk without any additional noise – no podcast, no music.
All I can do is meet myself where I am. I just can’t tell you where that will be from minute to minute right now.